As my due date gets closer, the anxiousness grows.

I know that this is completely normal and that most, if not all, moms to be start having those moments of anxiety, nervousness and excitement of what is to come. It sometimes still feels surreal that I’m even pregnant, let alone 36 weeks pregnant with twins. I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how well I’ve done and really how uneventful it has been, with the exception of morning sickness. At the beginning, I was sure that by the beginning of July I’d need to be at home all day with my feet up. I thought it was inevitable with twins and my advanced maternal age (lol) that I’d be on bed rest. Once we reached July, I was feeling fine. My feet were swollen at the end of the day and the drive to work was uncomfortable, but other than that, I was thankfully doing well.

Once my OB determined that it didn’t look like Baby A was going to get into the right position, he scheduled a c-section. That gave me a definitive date in sight and also allowed me to give a last day at work so that I could also get some downtime prior to the babies’ arrival.

The date also started my true anxiousness. I’ve had moments of panic thinking, “What made me think I could do this? How did I get to this point?” It’s ironic to have spent so much mentally and monetarily to get here and then now second guess that decision. I’m not really second guessing. I still want this completely. It’s only momentary freak outs.

As I sit here with less than 2 weeks to go, I think about all that it took to get here. A year ago, I wasn’t even sure that I would be able to get pregnant and now I’m surrounded by cribs, baby toys, a changing table and a stroller.