It’s been overwhelming receiving the notes of support from so many of you after reading my blog. Sometimes with social media it’s easy to believe that many friends are just Facebook friends, but when you get a message from those that you may not have spoken to in awhile, you remember those true connections. I appreciate everyone’s support no matter what choice I make.

I do want to comment on the issue of selfishness, which a few of you have brought up to me upset that anyone would call motherhood selfish. For starters, the friend that told me this was selfish, no longer feels that way. I understand your reactions because mine was the same in the beginning, but once I sat back and thought about it, I understood what she was telling me. It’s not that being a mother is selfish. Like one of you told me, being a mother is the most unselfish thing you can ever do. It is that choosing to bring a child into the world knowing that there’s a high probability that they will only have one parent and that they will never know a part of where they came from, can be unfair to the child.

Hopefully that last sentence makes sense. There are plenty of single mothers out there that didn’t plan to be single moms. There are moms whose partner disappeared out of their life before the child was born. But for the most (part, these moms can tell the child something about their father or their grandparents, etc.

This choice would be different. Besides the stats that I’d get at a sperm bank my child would not know much about part of his/her genetics. Perhaps at 18 years old, but not prior. People worry so much about the names they give to their kids so that they don’t get made fun of in the playground or grow up with some awkward sounding name. (Well, at leas many people do.) So think about how my decision will affect the child.

I got some comments from people refuting all the “cons” that were in my essay on motherhood and I want to explain that these are just pros and cons that flow through my mind. It’s perhaps my over analytic self, but I always try to look at things from multiple angles. I see the validity in the statement that this choice could be seen as selfish, however I also see the side where I create such a nurturing home for the child surrounded by my family.