Sundays pre and post baby

Still being in your pajamas at noon on a Sunday, pre-children, is a sign that you are having a relaxing weekend. You may have spent the whole morning sleeping, watching random movies on TBS, wasting hours on Facebook or whipping yourself up breakfast that you ate in bed or the couch. All those are the makings of a great Sunday.

Now, with newborns, being in pajamas at noon on Sunday (or any day) means that I’ve been up since dawn, but between feedings, diaper changes, keeping pacifier in babies mouth, etc., I have not had a chance to pay attention to myself. If I ended up with a few minutes, I probably used it to eat a bowl of cereal or whatever quick breakfast I could muster.

This is just one of the many changes with 2 newborns in the house. Right now, I’m sitting right next to my daughter in her Fisher Price thingy, so that I can put the pacifier back in her mouth every time it falls out (every 3 minutes or so). If I don’t she will scream.

Don’t get me wrong. I love these little girls more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. I didn’t think it was, but just putting the reality out there. There’s a monotony at this age that I know changes as they become more interactive. My day may be redundant and exhausting in a way I didn’t know existed, but I would not trade it for anything else.

What a Difference a Year Makes

It’s been a year since my first IVF egg retrieval. Even though that cycle didn’t work, I’m lucky to be writing this with my 2 girls asleep next to me.

I remember feeling like I was never going to get pregnant. I had done 5 failed IUI’s without a break and then jumped into IVF. I had been injecting and ingesting lots of hormones. There was so much stress. Not only was there the pressure I was putting on myself, but there were so many timing variables. With IVF you are going in for monitoring almost every day, but you don’t know until 1-2 days before when your retrieval will be. I knew someone had to drive me to the retrieval, but that it was likely to fall on Rosh Hashana and possible to fall on the same day my sister in law went into labor. Somehow it ended up falling on the 2nd day of the holiday and the day before my niece was born.

Besides the timing, there was the overall stress of going into a procedure you’ve never done before. I was going to go under anesthesia. I was going to need to stay in bed rest the remainder of the day. How many eggs would I get? Would they fertilize? Would they make it to transfer and freeze?

That cycle wasn’t meant to be. There were likely a lot of factors of why it didn’t work. With hindsight, I think a big factor was all that stress. It was heartbreaking to then get the chemical pregnancy, but I do think that the resulting break I took, helped the December IVF cycle be successful.

I fee so lucky that I can write this today as the mom of two amazing, healthy babies.

Gall Stones and Pacreatitis

As my daughters turned one week old, I was lying in the ER on morphine. It pained me more than the physical pain I was in to see the clock strike 7:53 and know that I wasn’t with them.

The previous evening I was at home after a full day of visitors feeling very uncomfortable. My back had started hurting and I was convinced I had some trapped gas as a side effect of the c section. As the night wore on it got worse. I kept trying to walk around my house to “untrap” the gas, but I could barely walk. Every position was painful. My back was spasaming. A little before midnight, I called the OB. He suggested taking some Antacids and if that didn’t help, go to emergency. I took a Tums and immediately knew it wouldn’t do anything, so I called my mom.

I left the girls with the baby nurse I thankfully have and we spent the night in the ER. Blood tests, an ultrasound and CT Scan confirmed that I had severe pancreatitis caused by gall stones. Around 8 am I was moved to another room that was a holding area for observations. I saw several doctors that told me the pancreatitis was so bad, that we had to wait at least 2 days before doing any procedures.

I ended up spending 5 days in the hospital while my girls were home with my mom and the nurse. I was finally reunited with them on Friday minus one gall bladder. It almost still feels surreal to have gone so quickly after pregnancy back into the hospital with another surgery. All I wanted was to be back home with my babies.

The gall stones after pregnancy is apparently pretty common although I had never heard of it before. I’d never had an issue, at least not that I was aware of. It was definitely both physically and emotionally draining.

Thankfully I had my family and friends looking out for me. I also had really good care at the hospital. I’m starting to feel like my normal self again.

The Best Day

August 22nd was the best day of my life. Period. There is nothing like the feeling of hearing your babies for the first time.

Elena was born at 7:53 am at 6.8 lbs. Yael was born one minute later at 7.3 lbs. They were the big twins all the nurses were talking about.

Having a baby via c section was a bit surreal. I don’t have anything to compare it to, but there’s tons of activity going on and as the mom I’m laying there with my arms stretched out and a curtain on my face waiting to meet my babies. I got a little skin to skin with each one before they were taken to the nursery and I was sent to recovery.

Those first few days and even now, I look at them with awe. I can’t believe they are mine. I can’t believe I made them. It’s incredible to fall in love with someone so instantly. They are my greatest accomplishment.