A few posts ago, I mentioned that higher consumers of pop culture are more likely to be scared of life, or so a professor once told me. This concept, I’ve realized can apply to other facets of pop culture and life, like romantic comedies. I’m not a scary movie or thriller type of gal mainly because I don’t get a rush of adrenaline from being terrified. The same way hanging upside down on a roller coaster doesn’t exhilarate me, neither does the fear of someone in a mask popping up to kill people turn me on. But give me a good romantic comedy, blockbuster or indie, and I’m there – middle row center.
The thing is that being an avid watcher of these movies for over twenty years can easily warp your mind into believing that you and Harry will become best friends and fall in love years after meeting and initially hating each other. Or that after about 10 years of the wrong timing you realize that he is The ONE and you crash his sister’s wedding thinking he’s the one getting married (watch A Lot Like Love a very underrated movie).
I’m hardly the first to observe women’s fascination with these movies and believing that these scenarios can happen in real life. Mindy Kaling does this much more eloquently and with a lot more humor on The Mindy Project. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in fairy tales and I don’t want a prince charming; perfect is overrated and doesn’t exist anyway. And, contrary to the belief of some of my family members, I don’t think that Mr. Right is just going to knock on my door while I’m sitting on the couch.
But I do believe that I can bump into him one day while browsing the bookstore (the one that no longer exists within a 20 mile radius of my house). He’ll say something clever about one of the books that I’m holding. We’ll banter back and forth being quick witted and much more chit chatty than I’ve ever been. We’ll continue our conversation over coffee at a non-Starbucks establishment and our dialogue will just flow from the moment we meet. As we get to know each other, he’ll take me to cool hole-in-the-wall restaurants. We’ll have long phone conversations well into the night. Of course, there will be hiccups and disagreements along the way, but we’ll get past them and sail into the sunset.
OK, so I don’t really think that it will happen exactly that way, but a girl can dream, right? 🙂
Honestly, I know it’s not going to happen that way. So, hopefully I don’t get a bunch of comments that I need to get my head out of the clouds or no one will be good enough. I’m not really looking for someone to meet those unrealistic standards. Maybe I was at some point in my 20’s, but I’m not anymore.
What I am looking for is to find someone that I do have a connection with; someone I can talk to or sit in comfortable silence with for hours. I know there will arguments and disagreements. I know we’re not going to like all the same things nor do I want to be with someone who is a replica of me. The dream based on the movies are heightened expectations, but I do believe that there should be some expectations. Quite frankly, and this might be an unpopular opinion, people tell you to aim high and go after your dreams in every aspect of your life except for when you’re looking for a life partner. I don’t know why that is. Like with everything else in your life, you can visualize where you want to be. But the key is in also keeping yourself open to all possibilities along the way. The openness will bring things and people into your life that you never even dreamt of, but the original dream is what propels you forward to get to those possibilities. So, for me, it’s not about going after an unrealistic Nora Ephron screenplay, but about visualizing the life I want to have which includes a husband to share my life with. I know that he’s out there, so the dream of him is what propels me forward to meet him in a bookstore or airplane or blind date. I’m open to where the possibilities take me.