Week 1 was a trip to New York, which really felt more like a regular week off for vacation. Week 2 has been my first work free (non vacation) experience in about 7-8 years. It sounds crazy to say, but it’s been hard to get used to. Please don’t think that I’m complaining. I am very happy not to be in at least 4 meetings a day and getting email after email; it’s just that I feel guilty. It’s weird. I always day dreamt at work about having the whole day to do whatever I wanted, but this cloud of guilt surrounded me Monday as I went to a 9:30 am yoga class.
I was always jealous of the women who could go to a 9 am exercise class instead of a morning workout meaning 6 am. But after yoga, I had no idea what to do next. I could go to the grocery store, I could have a leisurely breakfast at home or even take a nap, but that seemed wrong. I couldn’t seem to relax.
Yesterday was a little bit easier. I went to Zumbini with my sister in law and niece and nephew, which was quite an experience. Spending quality time with them is definitely what I’m relishing in. Today I feel even more relaxed and definitely getting used to just going with the flow or as going with the flow as my personality will allow.
I’m a planner by nature, so I’m always making lists in my head. I plan my day in my head checking things off as they get done. At work, I always grounded myself by going through my Outlook calendar each morning and preparing myself for what the day had in store for me. Even a meeting cancellation, which should have made me happy because it was new found time, irritated me because it changed the direction of my day. I know it’s silly. The irritation was short lived, I swear!
Without the Outlook calendar, my brain calendar now outlines the (planned) events of the day. Although, now deviations from the plan are usually a welcome change rather than an annoyance. I’m still learning to go with the flow to take the time and enjoy the freedom to do whatever I want. What is there to feel guilty about? Here in South Florida when you’re out and about in the middle of the day it seems like no one is working!
I can be a lady who lunches at least temporarily.